Question 25: What do you want to be known for?
My Answer: You know, after staring at this blank computer screen for seconds that have seemed like hours, I still don't know how to properly answer this question without sounding like a big, fat cliché.
So I'm just going to start typing, and we'll see what comes out, shall we?
I'd kind of like to be known for my quirks and sense of humor, but only a small handful of really lucky people get to experience the full and intense blessing of those two traits of my personality. Not that I pretend to be someone other than myself outside of this small handful of really, very lucky people -- you may catch glimpses of my quirks and humor on Instagram, here in my blog posts, and in other places on Social Media, but in "real life", I usually just seem pretty normal, sometimes intimidating or mean because of my social anxiety and introverted tendencies, and maybe even plain or boring. "And that's really okay with me," said the shy introvert.
I'd also kind of like to be known for having actual patience. It's weird -- I realized that I do possess patience in the times that it's most required of me. My patience is like this suppressed superpower that only shows up in survival-mode or something. Because sometimes, you guys, I feel like I'm the most impatient person in the world, but at other times I have this surreal peace, in the midst of chaos or could-be crisis, and I am able to sit back and wait it out. God gives me the words to say or not to say, and He covers me in something that turns me into this gracious, seemingly-wise and tender-hearted, patient person. It's pretty cool. I should try to get it on video so you believe me.
Another thing I'd like to be known for is my strength. My husband once told me that I was a rock, and I think that's one of the greatest compliments I've ever received. I don't think I will be widely known for my strength though, because the version of hell I've been through isn't widely known. But let me clue you in. I was really, really far away from God in my late teens and early twenties. I made some ridiculous choices. Really ridiculous, often illegal choices. I also battled anxiety and depression, and abused the medication prescribed to help me. As a result of my substance abuse, combined with the horrible choices of someone I considered a friend and the evil choices made by her brother, I was raped. I did not turn to God then. I was shamed by people I trusted, whom I also knew to be Christians, and was encouraged to hide the truth, basically to "save face". It wasn't until a couple of years after the worst of my days were over that I turned to Him and came to know Christ as my Savior. What could my life have been if I had known Him, truly known Him, before this happened? Only He knows. Anyway, my husband knew me before and after -- before and after I was saved. (Actually we became saved together, because God is the coolest.) My husband has loved me before and after. And he says -- now remember, I told you a few posts back not to trust everything he says, so take this for what you will, but my husband says that my faith, my resolve, and my beliefs are unshakable. And it's true -- they're solid. I'll fight you for them. I know that the struggles and tragedies I faced then have made me into the all-or-nothing type of person that I am now. I'm the kind of person that fights for what they believe, whether out loud or in their heart. (Because sometimes you can win battles with silence and prayer, you guys. Just so you know.) I guess you could also just say that I'm stubborn.
This is the first time I've shared that story with almost anyone. ⤴︎ How's that for an accidental testimony? I guess freewriting can be quite dangerous. (You should try it.)
Lastly, I think I'd like to be known for my passion. I guess that kind of goes with the above, but let me explain. I am on fire for a lot of things. Christ is who I'm most on fire for, and the Kingdom is what I'm most on fire for, but I love and am passionate about so many other things, too, and I'm sure God loves that about me, and probably laughs at my indecisiveness sometimes. I'm passionately in love with my husband; I'm passionate about my children and their education, their experiences, my experiences, my time, my coffee, and my ice cream; I'm passionate about music, art, writing, reading, words. I have a vast capacity for loving and am passionate about doing and experiencing and feeling all that I can in the time God gives me. I want to be a copywriter. I want to be a professional blogger. (That's a thing.) I want to be a freelance writer. I want to be an artist -- the kind that makes some sort of money. I'd love to be a buyer or a stylist. I want to be a hairstylist! I'd enjoy being a full-time worship leader with my husband, too! I just want to be a stay-at-home mom. I want to be the boss. There are just too many joys, too many loves I have in this life, and although my prayer is always that none of them ever get in the way of my God, they are many.
So, what do I want to be known for?
Here's what I want you to know: I am a quirky, funny, patient, strong, stubborn, passionate person.
Nice to meet you.
Christ is who I'm most on fire for, and the Kingdom is what I'm most on fire for.
YOU KNOW THE DRILL! Tell me in the comments what you want to be known for! ⤵︎