If you asked me to sum up the Gospel in one word, 'grace' would be it. Grace is the moral of the story.
I am reborn, but that doesn't mean I'm perfect or that my life is easy. I had a pretty great day yesterday, but even still, I found myself for a moment wondering why on earth we thought it was a good idea to have children. I mean, I don't get to read whenever I want to anymore! I don't get to take naps, watch movies, go out on dates with my own husband; I rarely have time to dust, do laundry, the dishes, etc., and when I do have the time for it, usually I'm too exhausted. When the baby is napping the six year-old needs me. I want to paint my nails. I want to get my hair done. I want an evening to sit in front of the tv and watch Netflix with a glass of wine. But that is just not. my. life. These kids wear me out sometimes. "What were we thinking?", I thought.
It was a fleeting thought. It came and went almost without me even registering it. Sneaky.
If you know me, you know I absolutely love my boys and I love being their mama! So that fleeting thought -- was that temporary insanity? No. That was me being my selfish, human self. My very selfish, human self.
And, let's be honest. We all have those moments. Whether you're a worn out mom or dad, an overworked 9-5er, an overlooked volunteer, a student with the weight of the world on your shoulders... whoever you are, wherever you are, you do have those fleeting thoughts, whether you choose to admit it or not. "I just want to quit." "Maybe I'm not cut out for this." "Maybe this isn't my calling, after all." "I'm a failure." "They'd be better off without me." Take those thoughts captive, just like I took mine, and turn them over. There is grace on the other side.
I am renewed -- made new again -- every day. My slate is wiped clean every day. My stains are removed, forgiveness is handed out, and I'm made whole again every day. I am sure of God's love for me, I am confident in the position He's placed me in, right alongside Jesus. He loves me as His own. He loves me because I am His own. His mercies are new every morning. By His grace.
Thank you God, for loving me in all of my weakness, humanness, selfishness, ignorance, and shame. And thank you for giving me power -- through Jesus -- over all of these things. I know it is only by your grace that I'm saved.